Reminisce.

Today's performance, was really bad..
I guess it's all my fault.
I didn't put in that bit of effort, i didn't prepare much, i thought i had everything under control,
But what i lacked most was the heart..

Sorry i produced such a slipshod piece of what was actually to be deemed as " a piece of art " to the audience, most importantly the teachers.
I guess i was just too egoistic,
missing out on the important part, " it's all about you and the teachers, not your friends. "
I'm sorry i dragged the rest of you down with me, you guys did great..
Esp Hidayat and Weiyang, thanks.

Sorry Janziel.. for screwing up your item, i sang an octave lower for the starting verse, thus everything sounded soooo bad.
Guess i wasn't responsible enough to learn it well.

I felt so good handing out the cards i made to the teachers.
I know they won't accept it and think " it's just a card "
I hope they read what i've written, and be touched.
An expensive snow globe, a teddy bear won't make a good birthday present.
I guess what Miss Xu said is really true. Haha, :).

While the adventure at OPSS ended, another starts at JPS.
I miss that place man.. 6 years of education.
It's been 3 years since i left that school, does this prove that time travel faster than light or what ?
So much have changed, the people, the facilities.
We waited so damn long before we're able to get in, all for a good cause i guess.
I miss the food there, so so much.

MISS LIM AND MDM TAN ! I'm so gonna visit you guys again next year !
This is become a tradition already, really.

this post is getting a tad tooooo wordy for me to post what i feel about all the individual teachers, thus i shall have to break a little promise and not post, maybe when i have the mood to do so.
once again, happy teacher's day. :)


I use one hand to pull you closer, the other to push you away.

I need a friend.

You know you're screwed when you realised that there's no toilet rolls when Life throw shit at you, and it's all too late.

been getting this kind of treatment recently.
well, at least i've deciphered the hidden meaning behind those shit.
it doesn't pay to be honest, to have integrity.
yeah, sure i feel good not lying to myself and going against my own principle, but do they get it ?
it is an ineluctable truth that human beings view each other on the surface, we judge by what we see and not what we feel.
after the judgement, and you feel comfortable with each other, the feeling begin.
that's how the term friends actually exists.
and when the feeling don't get into a mutual agreement, things fall apart.
that's the fucking truth.
where, when, how can i find that friend ? i'm happy with just one.
i don't need a BEST friend, i just need a friend.
you can be gynophobic, heliophobic for all i care.

Well, tomorrow's teacher's day.
Unofficially my doom's day, in a way.
Have to perform 2 items..
Have to return $9 to Janziel Joy Sulangi Licayan, ( damn i'm good )

To end this on a happy note,
HAPPYADVANCETEACHER'S DAY.
Will post more about the individual teacher's tomorrow, heh.
Shall go do my teacher's day present now.


I have a broken disposition
I’m a liar who thirsts for the truth
And while I ache for faith to hold me
I need to feel the scars and see the proof

Contemplate.

i figured that if i were to not share anything with anyone, i might just explode.
not literally, but you should get what i'm driving at..
and so yes that is the whole point of having this blog.



I can only describe this past few weeks with 1 word. fucking HECTIC.
Yeah, HECTIC. I know what you're thinking, but just treat the formal word as a bonus.
AYLC ended off with a bang i guess, so i guess the many hours spent on it was all for a good cause.
Teacher's day rehearsal.
Many complications, and many a times i couldn't really compromise with the other members.
I guess it's all my fault that the practices and rehearsals wasn't all that fun, sorry.
But i do hope that on the final day, everyone would just give it all out, the song doesn't sound that bad alright. Fuck those negative comments !

I think alot.
I think alot about all those little trivial stuff, which, on the surface doesn't really bother me.
I think alot about the negative stuff, thus nothing good ever come out of me, and the only times when i felt that i actually accomplished something was when i made rash decisions. Decisions i should have made without hesitating.
I think alot about scenarios that would never happen in real life, yet i pray with all my remaining Faith, they do.
I think alot about my friends, and how they think of me, yet somehow i don't feel anything in return. What are friends man.
I think alot about my future, who i want to be and what i want really want to do, yet here i am lazing around, when there's 2 tests coming up TOMORROW.

Lastly, i think alot about her, but will she understand ?